San Juan Poets: from: confessions of an adult fetus

Sunday, May 18, 2008

from: confessions of an adult fetus

It is one thing to look at an image of a human fetus and to see an unfinished creature... on its way to becoming human.... It is another thing entirely to see adults as unfinished, premature, half evolved....

5 comments:

Amy Harold said...: And when is it that we shift our perspective??? I would venture that it is that moment when a child is old enough to manufacture an expression when you take her picture. All the moments before that, she was happy just be known the way she is. All the moments after that, she is directing her depictions. This is not my idea...it comes from the movie Wings of Desire, I think. The exact words are: "Als das Kind Kind war, machte es by photographieren keinen Gesicht." As the child child was, she made no face for the picture. What do you think? Why do we see a fetus as a hopeful thing, but an adult as a flawed thing? Is it comparision, by which we strive for traction in our own development?; May 19, 2008 at 11:04 AM
antoniozart said...: Amy~ Where to begin? Yes children are Unself~conscious... and it has even been said (by thinkers/writers such as EM Cioran among many) that consciousness is a disease....
I often think that the problem lies in not being able to see where we are... it is like looking at nature and only seeing the aesthetics of the overall landscape, rather than the "wren's murders and the badger's dinners"...
Working with the elderly, most of whom are in their 90s, also drives home the fact that we gloss and filter notions of beauty and goodness on such difficulties as decrepitude, illness and death.
I have always found the mythic symbolism of a Fall from grace... apropos...
This is not to say we should not try to find happiness... but it makes this into a question of reality and fantasy... I think fantasy is winning Big Time.
Also, children, are really ~ children... inexperienced... ignorant... not enlightened...
well... at least that is the devil's advocate speaking!
I really love your observation about the posing for a camera as indicative of the beginning of adult mastery of affectation...
ah....! but if you look past the smile you will see the eyes are as sad as a clowns...; May 19, 2008 at 3:59 PM
Amy Harold said...: Now I'm stumped.

I think the mythological fall from grace is, in part, a justification for the elite in any society to kick back and watch the "less fortunate" people do the hard, dirty work. As anyone who has taken care of the elderly will confirm, it is many things, including hard and dirty work. But how do you apply the symbolism of a fall from grace??

And I'm also curious about your use of the term enlightened because my experience is that humans of all ages are capable of enlightenment. However, as the earthly plane demands continuous incorporation, we have to revise the recipe for "cognitive chocolate" (termed by a great poet friend of mine)to include the knowledge that comes with each breath.

What do you think...is that too glossy?; May 19, 2008 at 8:23 PM
antoniozart said...: amy~ "fall from grace"~ i meant this very simply as descriptive of the human condition.
buddhism says existence is suffering, it ends when you are dead. old age, sickness and death... the 3 characteristics of human existence that impressed buddha in his youth so intensely it lead him to seek for enlightenment.
enlightenment: a final blessed state marked by the absence of desire or suffering.

enlightened: freed from ignorance and misinformation.... based on the full
comprehension of the
problems involved.
i want to say i in no way was thinking of duplistic or self~serving rationalizations used by ruling elite on a political plane....!!!!!!!!!
i am an equal opportunity offender!
from neptune... all human lives appear to be the same.
i think what i am trying to say is one can split hairs about enlightenment... its definition and who belongs to that...elite group... but all i mean is when buddha, for example, set out to seek enlightenment... it was due to seeing the true nature of life on earth... suffering.
which i do not think means misery.
or angst...
even george harrison in one of his songs talks about "unconscious sufferers"... dancing down the sidewalk!
i think maybe gurdjieff... or cioran would cover these subjects better than i could.
i tend to use words freely and colloquially... rather than strictly in an academic sense.
fall from grace does often mean "sinning" or "back sliding" in to destructive habits... this just underscores the tone of my use of the phrase as metaphor.
just as i tend to see amerikan kulture as "disneyland"...
i think also we often mistake the "innocence" of childhood with somekind of consciousness... or purity of consciousness... i do not see this... i think of my childhood and remember longing to grow up... to Experience... to have Power...
just like the adults!
those naked apes! hehehehehe
i do NOT see a fetus as Hopeful...
just as a fatum.
thanks for stimulating late night or rather early morning mentation!
pax~ anthony; May 20, 2008 at 4:20 AM
Amy Harold said...: So, if I'm not experiencing inner piece: is that failure to progress, or, just actually nestling down into the suffering human condition? Falling asleep just now, I realized that at my core is anxiety. Swear to God!!! Sure, maybe I can imagine and practice that there's peace there, but then when I get that far in, it's not me we're talking about anymore (but the All.) Without mistake, at the threshold of my selfhood, there is anxiety. This twitchy fetus needs art! Art exaggerates the self, projects the self out into the world, forces the self to stretch toward this, its latest version. Jostles it. Expression calms the nerves from the inside out, and mutuality soothes from the outside in.

What do you find hopeful?

I thank you, too.; May 25, 2008 at 11:28 PM